Empty Spaces
Without you
Emptiness
Within me
You say you're mine
But your space
Is just yours
One of these days
The empty spaces
Will crunch
I will crunch
With mine,
You with yours
From outside
The euphoria
Shields emptiness
Inside out
It's just
A prison wall
Can't we
Just Merge
Our Empty spaces?
Emptiness
Within me
You say you're mine
But your space
Is just yours
One of these days
The empty spaces
Will crunch
I will crunch
With mine,
You with yours
From outside
The euphoria
Shields emptiness
Inside out
It's just
A prison wall
Can't we
Just Merge
Our Empty spaces?
posted by asuph at
11:11 PM
7 Comments:
Asuph
I loved this poem..
By
Sumita, at 4:29 AM
thanks all,
ssm: yeah, i see what you're saying. and more so after you've said it... blame it on my limited vocab...
probably spacecrucnh is where it came from!
asuph.
By
asuph, at 5:09 AM
maria!
what's this with void eh? he's your anti-thesis or someting ;-) leave the poor guy alone!
that said, I kinda expected someone to ask that question. i didn't expect you to read this one, but now that you've, it's not surprising that you asked it :).
indeed!
regards,
asuph.
By
asuph, at 9:23 AM
beautiful words, asuph...u should write poetry more often! :)
loved the beginning....
Without you
Emptiness
Within me....
doesn't say anything, but tells so much...
and ditto SSM on the following lines....
From outside
The euphoria
Shields emptiness
Inside out
It's just
A prison wall
loved these lines! :)
take care,
enig!
By
El enigma, at 9:53 AM
Wow Ashupa...
beautiful!! You must write more poetry. Is this the style called haiku? I just read another one on sulls...3 line verses...I know zilch about poetry, except how i feel when i read it...:-))
...I like the sudden contrast in emotion with the usage of teh word crunch. I read in your comment about why you chose that word, but with the bluntness of that word, i sense frustration, a sort of helplessness...and all that juxtaposed against the many veiled emotions and fears. but the word itself is perhaps too shallow for this poem. its almost like a spot of orange in a blue colourscape...except the shade of orange doesn't go with the blue...do i make sense? Ok, i am shutting up now!!
Again...beautiful!! :-))
By
Arpana Sanjay, at 3:00 PM
I loved the starting 3 lines.. great stuff..:) And then, I thought I understood something, till I reached the end..:(
Well, I thought this poem talks about the void created in X's mind when Y is not there... The space that's reserved for Y in X's mind is now empty... Hoping this is right, wudnt "merging the empty spaces" seem out of place? Or what exactly does the last line mean???
By
NS, at 9:44 PM
Can't we
Just Merge
Our Empty spaces? this is a magnificent question!The undertone i s quite fantastic. congrats..Kunjubi
By
Unknown, at 7:09 AM
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